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Review Sissy A Coming of Gender Story

A heart wrenching eye opening and giggle inducing memoir about what it's like to grow up not sure if you're a a boy b a girl c something in between or d all of the above From the moment a doctor in Raleigh North Carolina put male on Jacob Tobia's birth certificate everything went wrong Alongside male came many other far less neutral words words that carried expectations about who Jacob was and who Jacob should be words like masculine and aggressive and cargo shorts and SPORTSNaturally sensitive playful creative. A very strong four stars for this bold and hilarious memoir I loved Jacob Tobia s voice in Sissy A Coming of Gender Story I appreciated their progressive political views their honesty about their childhood adolescence and college years as a gender nonconforming person and their humor They take a critical perspective on social justice issues related to ueerness and gender like when they point out that the closet can be a problematic metaphor because it puts the onus on the ueer person to come out as opposed to on the homophobic society that relegates ueerness to a position of otherness in the first place Their writing about their childhood teen and college years felt real and without pretense like how they write about how they relied on external validation to compensate for their nonbinary gender not being affirmed or an experience at Duke where they were forced into an awful gender binary exercise Finally their humor resonated with me a lot Like when they wrote about when they met Barack Obama and they tried to focus on the shortcomings of his policies eg drone warfare not slowing deportations yet they instead focused on how hot he was that felt so relatable and I laugh out loud every time I reread that passageThere were a couple of instances that I felt a little confused or uncertain about Tobia s understanding of their racial identity They touch on having family members who are Arab and being mistaken for white yet I think they also benefit from white passing privilege which they did not touch on a lot At one point they talk about making a joke about reconstruction as a drag ueen and exhibiting some self awareness about the problematic nature of that joke yet they then describe the joke as a dig at racism I think I wanted a bit ownership or exploration of their racial privilege or racial positionality overall especially given their developed and thoughtful commentary on gender identity and sexual orientationA fabulous memoir written from a funny non pretentious trans perspective Tobia s confidence is admirable especially given how society strives to marginalize trans people Their voice glows in this memoir as I m sure their iconic heels do too

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Sissy A Coming of Gender Story

And glitter obsessed as a child Jacob was given the label sissy In the two decades that followed sissy joined forces with gay trans nonbinary and too ueer to function to become a source of pride and today a rallying cry for a much needed gender revolution Through revisiting their childhood and calling out the stereotypes that each of us have faced Jacob invites us to rethink what we know about gender and offers a bold blueprint for a healed world one free from gender based trauma and bursting with trans inclus. Horribly written Attempts at humor fail miserably and most of the book is spent patting themselves on the back for their very very dull college lifefull transcriptions of emails they sent complaining about small instances of harassmentunwokeness at their Ivy League school not to dismiss harassment but it s very white middle class college student etc Want to read a book by a narcissist who thinks every dump they take is radical while wincing at the stilted writing style and jokes the entire time This is the book for you

Jacob Tobia ☆ 2 Free download

Ive feminismFrom Jacob's Methodist childhood and the hallowed halls of Duke University to the portrait laden parlors of the White House Sissy takes you on a gender odyssey you won't soon forget Writing with the fierce honesty wildly irreverent humor and wrenching vulnerability that have made them a media sensation Jacob shatters the long held notion that people are easily sortable into men and women Sissy guarantees that you'll never think about gender both other people's people's and your own the same way agai. I liked Sissy okay I ve enjoyed it in hindsight than when I was reading it It s not that I m not glad I read it because I am PROBABLY what bothers me is mostly that personally Jacob Tobia doesn t seem like someone I d jive with and that personality clash bleeds into whether or not I can enjoy their writingThat s not to say they wouldn t be fun to chat with not to say they re not an important public figure not to say they haven t done amazing work Nothing like that It s that something deeply rooted in their writing doesn t work for meMaybe it s just simpler to say that Jacob Tobia seems like they re full of themself and that bothers me I don t think Tobia would even deny this In the book they literally compare themself with Jesus Christ than onceSelf love is great by the way It s important especially for ueer people But the self love turns too uickly to self indulgence in this case Like the stories in this book happened I m sure But some impulse seems to compel Tobia to inject every story with these clearly dramatized Shonda Rhimes speeches and dramatic turns The set ups and pay offs come off as far too constructed Memoir is tricky because I understand that everyone has their own perspective on their own lives and that one s recounting of events is drastically different from another s that memory is generally a construction anyway There are a lot of very understandable reasons why one for their own mental health might remember things in a certain manner But in Sissy it comes off to me like Tobia is purposely trying to invent a narrative for themself Like Tobia isn t actually dealing with what they ve gone through Rather they re presenting a positive front for public consumptionTobia mentions how their father remembers things with emotion than memory They reflect on this semi critically To their credit Tobia acknowledges that this applies to them as well But they don t do anything to reckon with the observation either It s just there It s this weird thing that Tobia does They re aware of their tendency to buy their own bullshit but don t seem to process it At least not to the extent that I d expect someone who has written so much about themself You d think at some point there would be a sobering confessional passage one that brings out Tobia s vulnerability shows that they re trying to figure themself out But there isn t any of that energy in Sissy It s like they re carefully constructing how they want others see them rather than laying it out for their own benefitI ve come across this honest open self reckoning in other memoirs really difficult passages where the authors come to grips with their demons or at least put them out there in a constructive way Thomas Page McBee s Man Apart or Laura Jane Grace s Tranny or Kiese Laymon s How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America or Darnell Moore s No Ashes in the Fire These authors of course present their writing in a readable accessible way but there s also an underlying sense of writing for their own fulfillment writing to figure out their own shit and get through it There s little of that in Tobia s book It s much about the presentation here Feels very theatricalThere s some weird racial politics going on here too Not racism I would never accuse them of that but like a getting my liberal bona fides kinda way Tobia says all the right things about colonialism and white supremacy only in a sort of peppered on posturing sort of way that doesn t go much beyond a hashtag understanding of race Tobia also freuently but slyly alludes to starting to familarize themself with their Middle Eastern heritage in a way they never elaborate upon enough Just enough to make it SEEM like they don t want to be accused of benefiting from white privilege any Maybe I m reading into that too much but it does seem suggestive of a distancing from whiteness that no white or white passing person can give themselfThere are good parts too don t get me wrong In the end it s a worthwhile read I love the part where they re talking about wanting to dress up as Pocahontas for Halloween as a child It was a great blend of comedy snarky comments about cultural appropriation and commentary on their budding gender identity But the parts where it feels like Tobia is actually comfortable with their audience telling you things straight up reckoning with their identity and their history are too few and far between


10 thoughts on “Sissy A Coming of Gender Story

  1. says:

    35 Stars The first half of this memoir is amazing Tobia articulates the painful experiences they had while growing up and I was left with a greater understanding for a different kind of non binary experience Their memories surrounding their childhood had the strongest writing It was easy to understand the conf

  2. says:

    A very strong four stars for this bold and hilarious memoir I loved Jacob Tobia’s voice in Sissy A Coming of Gender Story I appreciated their progressive political views their honesty about their childhood adolescence and college years as a gender nonconforming person and their humor They take a critical perspective on social justice issues related to ueerness and gender like when they point out that “the closet” can be a problematic

  3. says:

    Audiobookread by Jacob TobiaA National Best Seller“TransformativeIf Tobia aspires to the ranks of comic memoirists like David Sedaris and Mindy Kaling ‘Sissy’ succeeds” —From the New York Times Book ReviewThis audiobookmemoir was WONDERFULJacob is so darn likableIt took him years to discover that being

  4. says:

    Everyone should read this Everyone Better yet listen to the author's entertaining and thoughtful audiobook performance I'm a devout feministhumanist yet Tobia still had plenty to teach me about gender form all angles and they made it fun

  5. says:

    Horribly written Attempts at humor fail miserably and most of the book is spent patting themselves on the back for their very very dull college lifefull transcriptions of emails they sent complaining about small instances of harassmentunwokeness at their Ivy League school not to dismiss harassment but it's very white middle class college stu

  6. says:

    Full of energy but zero I mean ZERO panache And I don't mean panache in the flamboyant sense I mean it in the sense that a memoir like this really needs shape style structure and a reach for something permanent Instead it is written in the blog style of no style with uips here and there and intense self absorption beyond the call even for a memoir about discovering one's truest self I did gain some understanding of gender fluidity

  7. says:

    Jacob Tobia's memoir focusing on their experience growing into their identity as a genderueer person was possibly the perfect book for this present moment Covering their life from early childhood to the end of college this memoir dives deep i

  8. says:

    I liked Sissy okay I've enjoyed it in hindsight than when I was reading it It's not that I'm not glad I read it because I am PROBABLY what bothers me is mostly that personally Jacob Tobia doesn't seem like someone I'd jive with and that personality clash bleeds into whether or not I can enjoy their writingThat's not to say they wouldn't be fun to chat with not to say they're not an important public figure not to say they haven't done amaz

  9. says:

    Just not my cup of teaI reuested that my library purchase this memoir and I so hope that others find it helpful and enlightening For me I realized about 40% of the way into the book that I just don’t like Jacob I found the

  10. says:

    And so here I am again plunging further out of my comfort zone with a memoir Memoirs are not books that I've read often mostly because I thought that they were inspired only by ego but I admit I was very wrong A memoir well written opens up a door into a life that we uite possibly would never have understood or maybe ne